Simplicity Parenting -- Updated

After I wrote this blog post last week, a friend who hadn't read the Facebook discussion (she's not online) brought me a copy of the Time magazine with the article about Over-Parenting. I told her some of what had been discussed on Facebook about the article, and that I was bothered to see unschoolers defending 'benign neglect' as being part of unschooling.

My friend made a good point that for the target audience of the Time article -- mainstream parents who tend to over-schedule their kids and overwhelm them with expectations of what they *must do* to be a success in life -- neglecting their kids likely would be an improvement over the madness of having 'helicopter' parents. I agree that it's counter-productive to schedule and control every moment, or even most moments, of a child's life, but I simply don't like the word neglect, even benign.

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In the past couple of weeks, I've seen unschoolers cite news reports of what's being called a new movement in parenting -- Simplicity Parenting or Slow Parenting. Some are hailing it as a good move, something that may bring families closer to unschooling or peaceful parenting. I've read several links and I'm not convinced it's a good move in and of itself.

Yes, it's a move away from over-scheduled, over-stressed kids who appear to exist simply as vicarious vessels for their parents, but it looks a lot like just the other end of the pendulum swing.

The latest article, at time.com The Backlash Against Overparenting is the one I read this morning. A couple of folks have posted links on their Facebook walls saying *I love this!*

I followed the link to read it, and I'm not loving it. Yes, the stories shared show some kids are being allowed to step off the achievement junkie train, but at the same time parents are still being encouraged to do things that diminish kids as people.

There were lots of parts in that article I didn't love. This part, for example, is just so disrespectful of children:

*Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting, teaches seminars on how to peel back the layers of cultural pressure that weigh down families. He and his coaches will even go into your home, weed out your kids' stuff, sort out their schedule, turn off the screens and help your family find space you didn't know you had, like a master closet re-organizer for the soul.*

How many kids are going to be happy, or feel loved and respected when Mom/Dad bring in a stranger (or do it themselves) to *weed out the kids stuff*? Would the same parents want their kids to take it upon themselves to weed out Mom's closet, or get rid of Dad's computer? I doubt it.

It may be a positive move away from over-scheduling and over-controlling kids, but it doesn't appear to be any more respectful of kids as people. Looks to me like the other end of the pendulum swing from over-parenting.

It was pointed out to me that integral to Simplicity Parenting is letting go of fear as parents. That's a good thing. Every day, we're told what we should fear for our children -- whether your child will fall behind, or miss some essential experience, or never get into the *right* college, that they'll never be happy or successful, that danger lurks around every corner. The media in general seem to exist for the express purpose of elevating our fear level.

I don't know what Slow Parenting is all about (tho it makes me chuckle and I instantly thought of a TV show title I saw last week, "Pregnancy for Dummies". Maybe slow parents are what pregnant dummies become?).