On Valentine's Day

Valentines Day is here.  It's not a big holiday around here, at least not in a gifts and roses and dinner date kind of way.  No big elaborate celebrations for us, because that's just not who we are.  It does make me pause to think about what love means to me, and what it is about Gary that makes me love him as I do.  

Twenty-six years together. Wow, that's a long time! More than half my lifetime.  And what it is about him that I love so much?  It's the little things, the big things, the way he still loves me, even when I'm pretty sure I'm not all that easy to like sometimes. The way he takes care of me, and lets me take care of him.That he still smiles whenever he catches my eye, and every single time he smiles at me, I melt. 

It's in the easy way we spend time together; the old jokes and stories we both know and share. Days spent together at the track; nights in the garage talking as he worked on a car.  Country drives and quiet dinners together, talking about anything that comes up, remembering together our story, and adding new chapters as the years go by.

It's in those beautiful children we're raising together.  Oh my goodness, they are amazing and in so many ways they are just like Gary -- helpful, kind, generous, thoughtful, quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) going about being who they are. 

Will, who gets me in ways that no one else does, who had my heart before Gary came along.  He's like Gary in ways that can't be chalked up to genetics, but come from growing with us as we found our way.  

Andy, who pretty regularly unloads the dishwasher for me, and jumps right up to help with anything I ask for. Who is quick to offer to drive to pick up Dan so I can rest at home, who carries groceries in and trash out.  Strong as the bear we nickname him for, and oh so sweet and gentle.  His patience and tenderness while removing splinters from little girls' hands on park days has me in complete awe. Just like Gary, who handles all splinters at our house, because his patience in those moments is endless.

Dan, who last night when I broke a mug, came to help me pick up the pieces.  When I thought I had all the pieces, he reached past me to pick up a piece I'd missed, then he scooped and pinched up the tiny pieces I'd also missed. He did this very matter of fact and quietly, just like Gary would.  His hands so much like Gary's (Dan's just hit a phase where every little thing about him reflects Gary), helping out because Gary wasn't home and I needed help.
 
From the love we share, which is so much more than I ever expected to have in my life, which just flows outward to make our days lovely and our life sweet. This love makes our home a soft place to land for us all. 

Being married to Gary is so much more wonderful than I knew was possible. Growing up I'd not seen any happy marriages, at least not close up enough to imagine anyone could be this happy, that it could feel and look this easy.  When I met Gary's parents (who will celebrate 60 yrs in August, and who have been my parents for 18+ years now) I began to get a glimpse of what marriage could be like.  They give us something to aspire to, and along the way their support and love for us, their acceptance and genuine love for me (even tho I will never be what they expected) astound me.

Not only is Gary is smart, funny, and cute, he is absolutely the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate person I've ever known.  To which he says "you need to meet more people, Babe."  Did I mention he's modest, too?  

Really, life and love can be this good? It's not just about marrying the right person, it's about becoming the right people, together.  And it's still such a surprise to me, even 26 yrs later.